When I look in the mirror…

Daily Prompt: Mirror, Mirror
by michelle w. on July 5, 2013
Finish this sentence: “When I look in the mirror, I . . . “
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/07/05/daily-prompt-mirror/

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl
smiling at a mirror in front of her.
It was her favorite mirror, she loved the yellow heart
framing it, and the brown smiling teddy bear
face, arms, and little legs that hugged the heart mirror.
She wondered if it once hung in her nursery..
She can only recall the house and the room it is in right now,
Capturing this memory, she sees her curly blonde hair and blue eyes
A fisher price doll house with its matching furniture pieces poke over her left shoulder,
While stuffed animals piled high on the end of her bed smile back
The day has barely started, and her only real concern –
making sure her doll Lisa is dressed, and that she’s ready for a day of play.

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl
getting ready for her first day of school
Pigtails, a pink polka dot tee, and perfection.
Eyes bright – she looks up at the teddy bear heart mirror…
The dollhouse, neatly stored in the corner of her room, now somewhat out of sight
She sees the pink & purple backpack draped over the little brown rocking chair
Waiting for its new destination .. her doll, still tucked in her bed, replacing those stuffed animals..
She imagines all of the friends she’ll make, all the new thing she’ll learn.
She wonders what school will be like. Her day, about to start, and her only concern –
What is cafeteria food, and will she like it?

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl
getting ready for her very first girl-boy dance
crimped strands of hair, a ‘hand-me-down” white tee with pink flamingos
She stares back at that heart-shaped mirror, watching her mother
help her apply eye shadow and eye liner for the very first time.
She remembers, “A little goes a long way” .. “You are already so beautiful”
Her mother stares back at her in the mirror, perfection.
She sees her two smiling friends Keri on one side, Nikki on the other,
anxiously awaiting the party at “Fat Boys” Pizza. “I love your jean shorts”,
one girls says, while the other chimes in “Yeah, you totally match!”
She’s the new girl in town, unsure of her surroundings, going to a party
with girls she has just met, her evening, about to start, and  her only concern –
what is “slow dancing”, and what if she doesn’t like it?

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl
getting ready to leave home
A home that (over the years) has turned into MANY homes..
In between the 30 something moves, that little heart-shaped mirror cracked..
broken and shattered into pieces, too many to pick up,
somewhat a reflection of her own heartaches and challenges .. growing up, maybe too fast.
She looks through the generic mismatched mirror that hangs above a borrowed dresser.
Behind her – boxes and a few suitcases awaiting their new destination.
She is ready for yet, another new beginning, a road trip – she’ll get to know her dad..
with years to catch up on and a 6 hour drive, this adventure is about to start, and her only concern –
navigating Seattle , without GPS and any sense of real direction!

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl
getting ready to marry her best friend
Curled strands of blonde hair frame her sun-kissed face,
adorned in white and just enough makeup, perfection.
her blue eyes, now full of wonder, love and  happiness.
She wishes she could freeze frame this moment in time,
just as every bride does.  Her special day, nearly half over..
A tap on her shoulder, her teary-eyed aunt looking back at her..
“It’s time” she says .. as bridesmaids appear one at a time behind her.
With one final dab of lip-gloss, she remembers that first time he winked at her
Another new beginning is about to start, and her only concern –
Their “first dance” together – she never did learn how to “slow dance”.

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl
getting ready for the day..sometimes for work
and sometimes for play, critical of her appearance,
questioning countless outfits, pointing out every flaw..
her husband can only answer the same question,
“How does this look?” so many times,before the mirror
is truly her only guide in the matter.

Sometimes she sees her reflection and is sure of her future
and where she belongs, but sometimes her eyes question
what lies ahead and certain decisions she’ll have to make.
These are the days she misses that little girl…
whose dreams stared back at her…
through a yellow heart-shaped teddy bear mirror

– By Heather Decker

 

Our Story

Freshman Orientation Week
Aunt: “Heather, I’m signing you up for this Battle in Seattle”
Me: “But, I’ll have nobody to go with .. what will I wear … I don’t know anything about football”
Aunt: “Don’t worry, you will meet someone there .. oh look a $10 ticket on the rooter bus”
Me: “I don’t know if this is a good idea .. maybe…”
Aunt: “Okay, here’s your football ticket and you are on the crimson rooter bus”
Me: “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
Aunt: “Okay, let’s head to that bookstore and find you a CWU T-Shirt for the game!”

Sept. 25, 2004: GAME DAY
I am already having second thoughts about this “Battle in Seattle”
My roommate has no desire to attend a football game, she has other plans for the day,
I put on my Tee that reads “Western we know you suck” along with a pair of jeans
Lip gloss, camera, phone and tickets fit nicely inside my wristlet
I dread the idea of walking onto a bus
By myself ..one last glance in the mirror
One last spritz of perfume – in case I do meet someone.

Nicholson Pavillion
I stare at the three coach busses in front of me
As I step onto the Crimson Bus, I walk down the aisle
Passing more than one empty seat
Me: “Hi, is this aisle seat taken?”
Nate: “Nope, it’s yours now”
Me: “Thanks”
Nate: “Looks like we’re taking the scenic route to Seattle”

Seahawks Stadium – Battle In Seattle
We sat together at the game
We both won blue QWEST Fleece blankets
When he left to use the rest room,
He turned his head enough to wink at me
He told me the rules to the game
He asked if I would trade him my t-shirt for his sweatshirt
A phone call to my Aunt: “You were right, I DID meet someone.”

On the way Home
Central lost the game that day
I fell asleep on his shoulder
Nate: “Hey, wake up.. we are here”
Me: “Oh, thanks.”
Nate: “If you want, my number is in your phone – call me sometime”
Me: “Okay..”
Roommate: “Heather, how can he call you if he doesn’t even have your phone number?!? Call him and tell him that your aunt left these frozen cookies in our fridge.. just ask if you can come over and use his oven to bake your cookies.”

An evening walk around campus (4 years later)
Me: “This is the bridge where you first held my hand..”
Nate: “Remember this bench, where I kissed you for the very first time.. ”
Me: “Yeah, the snowflakes were just starting to fall, you gently whispered in my ear…”
Nate: “I love you”
Me: “And you promised you always would .. love me”
Nate: “This is where I convinced you out of beauty school”
Me: “Well, I was having a bad day..”
Nate: “And this is where it all began.. this is where we met”
Me: “I’m so glad that seat next to you was empty”
Nate: “Heather, the only gift I really want is you, Marry Me?”
Me: “Yes!”

This is one of my most favorite and cherished memories.. the day I ultimately met my husband.  I’ve heard people say that sometimes you just “know” when you’ve met “the one”.  I don’t think I knew that Nate was “the one” back then, but I did know that there was something special about him, and I wondered on that day just where this relationship would lead to.  It always amazes me how just one decision can change your entire course in life.  If I wouldn’t have attended that football game, Nate and I would have never met.  I can’t imagine life without him..although, I’m guilty for getting so lost in writing this poem, that I did (accidentally) forget to pick him up from the airport tonight.. my writing is a distraction, only because I was lost in such great memories.

For my single friends out there, I know you’ve heard this before, but it’s true: True Love always finds YOU, when YOU stop looking for it… or in the least places you ever expect to find it.

The List

 

His  “To Do” List
Take girlfriend to the Boise airport 7AM
Make the bed
Wash the dishes
Reserve party of 3 for dinner tonight

Her “To Do” List
Stop at nearest coffee stand for a latte
Meet Grandma at the Portland airport
Drive new car with Grandma back to Boise to meet boyfriend
Call Russ and remind him of his “To Do” List

An Unfinished “To Do” List
Bed in disarray
scattered dirty dishes cover the kitchen counter
“Reservations?” A declined credit card…
Grandma pays for dinner

Grandma’s “To Do” List to me
Buy Rope for car
Stock trunk with bottled water
Granola bars, don’t forget the blanket
Break up with Russ

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I remember my grandmother taking out a pen and a piece of paper and telling me, “Heather, write down this “To Do” list” I paused for a moment as she said “Break up with Russ”, shocked, at her honesty.  She could see my hesitancy and so she said ,”Go on, write it down”, as if this list was just something ordinary.  So, I wrote it down, “Break up with Russ” She was truly sincere about the feelings she had toward him.  For some reason, I didn’t take offense to what she said, like I had all the other times my own mother criticized him.  Maybe it was because I genuinely cared about what my grandmother thought and valued her opinion.  I knew she loved me and she wanted the best for me.  She knew I could do better.  Shortly after our visit, I finished that To Do list, and I broke up with my boyfriend. That was just the start though – I realized (soon after that) I wanted so much more out of my life.  I wanted to finish school, I wanted to  reconnect with my father and a family I had been taken away from for more years than I want to account for.. I wanted a NEW LIFE .. A NEW TO DO LIST!

Taking control of my life and making decisions for myself was one of the first “To Do’s” on my list. During a 15 minute break, I called my aunt barb and told her I wanted to change my life, and maybe I would take some classes at BSU part-time and keep my job at Alaska Airlines. I’ll never forget what she told me, “You need to go to college full-time if you want your life to change.” She told me I shouldn’t limit myself to just Idaho, that I should come to Washington and look at schools in that area too, and she would help me.. she would set up all of the visits and all I had to do was come to Seattle for the weekend.  I remember getting off the phone, going back to my desk…looking at my co-worker Dustin and saying, “My life is about to change.”  I was so scared to leave it all behind.  Moving to a city much bigger than Boise, making new friends, living in a new home with my Aunt Dina & Uncle Nick and cousins, working at the SEA-TAC airport until school started in the fall, so much change in such a small amount of time.  I was able to spend some quality time with my dad, as he flew down to Boise, helped me pack all my stuff up and drive me to Seattle.  It was a great drive, getting to know him, and sharing stories back and forth.  I remember feeling a little sad and helpless as he brought up the last box, telling me goodbye.. this was my first night in Seattle, staring at my new room full of unopened boxes, I was a little unsure of what had just happened. I remember wondering and hoping that I had made the right decision to leave Boise.  The next morning, my Aunt Barb took me to breakfast at the Varsity (which would become one of my favorite places to have breakfasts with my family), she reassured me that this was the right decision and my life was going to change, and to enjoy every minute of it, because once college started – it would go by quicker than I ever imagined.  And, she was right, it did! I already had a good friend (Ormond) who had transferred from Boise to SEA-TAC and he was my familiar face at Alaska Airlines, and he introduced me to so many more people – we had some great times out together.  I did get lost a few times, learning my way around Seattle (This was before GPS), my Aunt Dina helped me remember where I was going .. with some “creative” songs & stories, I still remember a few of them today.   I absolutely loved living with my Aunt Dina, Uncle Nick and the girls.  They were like the family I always wished I had, they all  love each other and take care of each other.  I’m so glad to have spent that time with them before going to school.

College changed my life in more ways than I ever thought possible.  This is where I met my husband, just as my aunts said that I would.  And, to their own doing, we met at a football game that I didn’t even want to attend, but my Aunt Dina signed me up and told me I was going.  He is my best friend, the love of my life, my prince charming. We’ve been married for almost three years now, and this weekend will be the first weekend that my grandmother will be coming over to see our first house together.  Nate is already making sure the fridge is filled with foods she will enjoy, that we have a variety of tea for the mornings and even some coffee / latte t-discs for my Aunt Dina who will also be visiting.  “I’m going to move the Play Station back upstairs,” he tells me, “Because your grandmother will be here this weekend, and I want the living room to look nice.”  Without even asking, without even giving him a “To Do” list, he is making his own “To Do” list, because that’s just the kind of husband he is.

I would like to think that after our visit this weekend,
my grandmother will have a “To Do” list
for me that might read something like this:
Pull remaining weeds in the back yard
Plant at least one veggie in your garden
Water the roses
KEEP HUSBAND